


Two Pink Lines

by screamqueen18



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 12:20:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8445640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamqueen18/pseuds/screamqueen18
Summary: Two damning pink lines. She stared down at them and cursed. She knew this would change everything.





	1. Chapter One

Hope stared at a small patch of skin showing on Carli’s stomach. Despite her girlfriend being twisted and tangled up in the blankets on their bed, the smallest sliver of skin was showing where her oversized baseball tee had ridden up. The keeper couldn’t tear her eyes away. Reaching out she pulled the woman into her arms, placing a soft kiss on her forehead as she let her fingertips wander over tanned skin. 

“What’re you doing?” Carli mumbled, her face pressed into the pillow as she attempted to bury herself deeper in the warmth of the blankets. 

Hope laughed, as she continued stroking the skin of her girlfriend’s stomach. “You’re getting pudgy,” she teased. “The offseason is getting to you.”

“Shut up,” Carli half-glared, raising her head partly from the pillow. She smacked Hope’s wandering hands away. “You don’t get to touch me if you’re going to call me fat.”

Hope chuckled, pulling Carli closer to her as she placed her hand back on the midfielder’s stomach. “It’s the fries,” she whispered. “And the mozzarella sticks.”

“Hope!” Carli exclaimed.

“I’m just kidding babe,” Hope chuckled. Pulling the blankets over the two of them, Hope pressed a soft kiss to the back of Carli’s neck. “Go back to sleep Car.”

“Mhmm,” Carli mumbled, burying herself in Hope’s arms. 

 

  
\----  


 

The next time Hope woke, she was surprised to see her normally active girlfriend still in bed with her, cuddled into the blankets.

Hope pressed a soft kiss to the back of Carli’s neck, content with laying next to her girlfriend until she woke up. 

“Hope?” Carli asked sleepily. “What time is it?”

“It’s only nine babe,” Hope said softly, brushing away an errant strand of hair from the midfielder’s face. 

“Oh okay,” she replied, turning over so her face was pressed into Hope’s chest. “Wake me up in a few hours?”

“Anything you want Car.”

Carli mumbled something unintelligible into Hope’s chest as she buried herself further into the blankets. The brunette keeper smiled as she wrapped her arm around her sleepy girlfriend and pulled her closer to her body. 

Hope reached over and grabbed her book from the nightstand, propping herself up with a pillow. Grabbing her phone, she snapped a picture of Carli cuddled against her. Saving it to a secure app in her phone, she tossed her phone on the bed and picked up her book.

“Hope? What time is it?” she heard a few hours later.

“It’s about noon Car, are you finally ready to get up?” 

“Can we just stay in bed all day?” the midfielder asked, rolling over to face Hope, propping herself up on her arms. “We can just watch movies, and order take out.”

“Chinese or pizza?” Hope asked.

“Chinese for dinner, maybe that deli you like for lunch?”

Carli bit her lip as Hope leveled her gaze on her. “Tacos?” she suggested again. “I don’t know Hope, I really don’t know what sounds good.”

“You don’t want pizza?” Hope asked incredulously. “You always want pizza Car!”

Carli groaned and buried herself under the bed covers. “Just thinking about pizza makes me nauseous,” she muttered.

“How about I make smoothies?” Hope asked, pulling back the blankets so she could see her girlfriend. 

Carli nodded, and Hope slid out of the bed. The midfielder watched her girlfriend slip off her old University of Washington hoodie, revealing the oversized Reign FC shirt she had on underneath and a small pair of soft grey flannel shorts. 

“Are you coming?” Hope asked smirking, breaking Carli out of her reverie. 

“Fine,” the younger woman sighed sliding out of bed. “I was so comfy and warm too.”

“Come on lazy,” the keeper teased. “The sooner we get you fed, the sooner we can get back to bed.”

The brunette followed her girlfriend out of their bedroom to the kitchen where she immediately hopped up on the counter. 

“What?” she said smirking at Hope’s look. “You said you were going to make smoothies, I don’t know why I need to be here.”

The keeper smiled as she walked over to her girlfriend perched happily on the counter. “I guess that’s true,” she admitted. “So what do you want in your smoothie?”

“The usual green one maybe? Plus some mango,” Carli said. 

“Your wish is my command babe,” Hope saluted, heading to the fridge to grab the ingredients. Before long, she had two large green smoothies in hand. Handing one to Carli she pressed a soft kiss to her girlfriend’s lips. “Your smoothie my Princess.”

Carli smiled and took a drink, reveling in the taste as it hit her tongue. “Thanks babe.”

Hope helped her girlfriend off the counter leading her over to the couch. “Bridesmaids?” she asked, flicking on the TV. 

Carli nodded leaning back against the keeper. “You know me so well.”

Hope laughed. “I’d hope so considering how long we’ve been together.”

The midfielder made a face, before reaching up and kissing Hope’s cheek. “Thank you for breakfast babe,” she murmured placing her nearly empty glass on the coffee table.

“Anytime babe. Are you already done?”

Carli sheepishly nodded. “I don’t know why but it tasted so good!”

“You’re weird,” Hope told her flatly, causing the New Jerseyan to narrow her eyes at the older woman. “What? You are! First you don’t want to get up- something that never happens. Then, you want a smoothie, let alone a green smoothie with mangoes. You never eat that for breakfast Car, not unless you’re sick.”

“I’m not weird, and I’m not sick,” the midfielder said standing to take their glasses to the kitchen, before suddenly growing nauseous and running out of the room. 

“Car? Where are you going?” 

Hope sprang up and chased after the younger woman, finding her in the downstairs bathroom with her head in the toilet. She carefully knelt down next to her, pulling her hair out of her face as she heaved. 

Carli felt Hope rubbing circles on her back as she vomited her smoothie into the toilet. The bile burned as it rushed up from her stomach causing her to gag harder. She continued to dry heave even after nothing was left, until she finally managed to stop and sagged back against Hope.

The keeper reached up and grabbed a towel hanging off a hook, carefully wiping Carli’s mouth before gently easing her to her feet so she could rinse her mouth. 

“Are you okay Car?”

“I don’t know,” she murmured shaking her head. “I just want to go back to bed.”

Hope nodded lifting the midfielder into her arms easily, Carli resting her head against Hope’s shoulder. 

“It was probably just something I ate last night,” the midfielder murmured as Hope climbed the stairs to their bedroom. 

“The Indian food?” Hope asked softly placing Carli on the bed and pulling the covers over her. 

The midfielder shrugged. “Lay with me?” 

“Of course babe,” Hope said. Crawling in next to Carli, the keeper wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. 

Carli laid her head on Hope’s chest, listening to the keeper’s steady heartbeat. “Hope, what if it wasn’t the food?”

“What do you mean babe?”

“What if it's something else?” Carli said softly. 

“Like what?” Hope asked.

“I don’t know,” Carli rambled. “It could be anything.”

Hope laughed softly. “You throw up once, and you think you have the plague? Maybe you should’ve majored in worrying at Rutgers.”

“I’m just saying,” Carli said weakly, a small smile spreading across her face at her girlfriend’s teasing. 

Hope brushed an errant strand of hair out of her face before kissing her gently. “Carli, you’re fine. With all the supplements we take, and how strong our immune systems are, you’ll be fine. You probably caught a virus from one of the Universal Soccer Academy kids or something.”

“You’re right,” the midfielder murmured. “I love you.”

“Love you too babe, now get some sleep,” Hope ordered. “I’ll be right here when you wake up, and ready to wait on you hand and foot until you feel better.”

“Promise?” Carli asked sleepily.

“Anything for my Princess.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little drama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the chapters will vary in length from now on. But I hope you enjoy!

Hope looked over at Carli stretched out on the bed the next morning, the midfielder snoring slightly as she slept. She chuckled as she slid out of bed, and walked to the bathroom to hop in the shower knowing that Carli would want to be cuddled the second she woke up, like she always did when she was sick.

The keeper showered quickly, knowing that Carli would be looking for her. Stepping out to grab her towel, she noticed a text message from Kelley O’Hara. 

**Kell: Hey stranger, I’m going to be in the area. Want to grab lunch? ******

Frowning at the out of the blue text, she quickly replied. 

**Hope: Hey Kell. I wish I could but Carli’s sick.**

**Kell: Bummer. I can bring over some of Christie’s soup and banana bread for you. It’s been ages. ******

**Hope: Well, if I can’t talk you out of it ;) ******

**Kell: Give me an hour, I’ll be there ;) ******

**Hope: See you soon. :) ******

**Kell: :) ******

The keeper smiled to herself as she peeked in on Carli. Seeing the midfielder still sleeping, she quietly went about getting ready, before making her way downstairs to start coffee and wait for Kelley.

About an hour later there was a soft knock on the door. Smiling to herself, Hope got up and answered it. 

“Hi Kell,” Hope said softly. 

“Hey Hope,” Kelley said, her eyes shining brightly as she drank in the sight of the gorgeous keeper. “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too Kell,” Hope murmured pulling the defender in for a hug, being mindful of the things in her hands. “I’ve really missed you.”

\--------  


Carli stretched out her limbs as she rolled over, expecting Hope to bed in the bed next to her, but instead was met with cold sheets. “Babe?” she mumbled opening her eyes slightly. Not hearing a response, she raised her head and looked around. No Hope. She groaned and let her head fall back onto the pillow.

Grumbling softly to herself, the midfielder swung her legs over the side of the bed and got up in search of her girlfriend. Slipping off the oversized baseball tee she was still wearing, Carli pulled on a pair of soft cotton shorts and one of Hope’s oversized Sounder’s Women tees, before heading downstairs.

“Hope?” Carli called. 

“Living room Car,” Hope yelled back.

“You weren’t there when I woke up,” Carli pouted as she walked in, before noticing Kelley in the room. “Oh, hey Kelley.”

“Hey Carli,” Kelley said, eyeing the midfielder as she curled up next to Hope. “Hope said you weren’t feeling well, so I’d figured I’d drop off some of Christie’s soup and banana bread.”

“That was sweet of you,” Carli replied. 

Kelley smiled. “Of course, anything for a teammate. Besides, I was in the area. Anyway, I’d better head out, but Hope you’re still on for next weekend yeah?”

“Of course,” Hope said smiling. “Let me walk you out, if I can’t convince you to stay for lunch.”

“The Daddies and I are going clubbing tonight, or else I would totally stay,” Kelley said winking at Hope. “Gotta look good for the ladies.”

“You’re welcome anytime Kelley, you know that,” the keeper smiled, standing as she and the defender made their way to the door.

“Bye Kelley,” Carli said weakly, groaning as Hope stood up and she had to make herself comfortable again. “Thanks for the soup and the banana bread.”

“No problem,” Kelley responded, her eyes never leaving Hope’s. “It was good to see you. It feels like it’s been forever.”

“It was good to see you too Kell,” Hope said, pulling the Kelley into a hug. “Drive safely okay?”

“I will,” Kelley said chuckling. “It’s nice to see you haven’t changed Solo!”

The defender tossed a wave over her shoulder as she headed to her car, pulling out of their driveway and heading back to Piscataway Township.

“It was nice she stopped by,” Hope murmured softly as she sat back down next to Carli. “The soup will be good for you too, and Christie’s banana bread is always good.”

Carli laughed softly. “She came to see you, you know that.”

“Car, we’ve talked about this,” Hope said. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Hope, it is a big deal. How long have we been together?” Carli asked, her voice raising. 

The keeper sighed, she hated it when her brief relationship with Kelley was brought up. “Half that time we weren’t even together Car. You can’t be mad at that.”

“Really? I can’t be mad at that? We’ve been on and off since 2012 because of London! I finally get you to be with me, _just me _, and she pops back up?” Carli muttered.__

“Carli Anne Lloyd. Look at me,” Hope commanded. “I am yours, I’ve been yours for months now. London... London was something else. A one time thing.”

“Of course it was,” Carli said exasperatedly. “When it comes to her everything is _something else _Hope! It wasn’t just a one time thing Hope!”__

“Car-” Hope began, only to be cut off by Carli. 

“She’s still in love with you! Whatever happened between you two in London she wanted to happen again during Rio. It’s obvious, to me, to our teammates. ”

Hope turned Carli so she was facing her. “I’m yours Car. That’s what matters, not what happened in the past. You are my future, no matter what,” the keeper said softly, stopping Carli’s reply. 

Carli’s eyes glistened with tears as she sagged against Hope, leaning her head on the keeper’s shoulder. “Promise?” she whispered. “No matter what?”

“I promise,” Hope said, kissing Carli’s forehead then lips gently. “No matter what.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love it? Hate it? Tell me how you are feeling!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which cuddling and more throwing up occurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's starting to move along a bit more now! I hope you enjoy!

“Babe,” Hope called looking for Carli. “Where are you?”

“Huh,” the keeper muttered to herself. “Maybe she went for a run.”

Hope walked into the kitchen, seeing a note on the coffee pot. Picking it up she smiled. Her instincts were still spot on when it came to her girlfriend.

Babe-  
Going for a run. I’ll be back around 9.  
Breakfast when I come back?

Love,  
Carli

The keeper laughed as she checked the time, turning on the coffee pot, and grabbing ingredients for omelettes. She still had enough time to make breakfast before Carli came back. 

Sure enough, just as she was finishing up, Carli came through the back door.

“Morning babe,” the midfielder panted. 

“Hey Car,” Hope replied, shooing her sweaty girlfriend away. “Go shower, you stink. Breakfast’s almost ready, so hurry up.”

Laughing Carli jogged up the stairs, and hopped into the shower. She came back down shortly, running a hand through her damp hair, and tugging at her leggings.

“Thanks babe,” the midfielder said, taking the offered cup of coffee and kissing Hope. “I see you got my note.”

“Who am I to deny my Princess?” Hope asked winking. 

“What do you want to do today?” Carli asked, taking a bite of omelette.

“We never got to watch Bridesmaids,” the older woman said shrugging. “We could do that if you want.”

“You aren’t sick of doing nothing?” Carli asked. 

Hope smiled. “I love seeing you do nothing,” she teased. “It’s so against your nature.”

Carli glared at her half-heartedly. “I relax, thank you very much.”

“I know you relax,” Hope said laughing. “There’s a difference between relaxing and doing nothing. One of which you don’t do very often.”

Carli shrugged. “I can’t help it,” she said taking another bite of omelette. “Sitting around doing nothing, it’s so unproductive.”

Hope laughed. “I know babe, that’s why it’s called doing nothing.”

Carli glared at her before going to take another drink of coffee, before freezing. “What’s that smell?” she mumbled, covering her mouth. 

“Car?” Hope asked curiously. “Are you okay?”

The midfielder shook her head, before standing and rushing to the bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet before emptying the contents of her stomach, Hope holding her hair back. She coughed and spat the remaining bile in her mouth into the toilet, shutting the lid and flushing it down. 

“I thought you were better,” Hope said softly handing her a cup of water. 

“So did I,” Carli croaked hoarsely. “I don’t understand.”

“Lingering after effects?” Hope suggested.

“Maybe,” Carli sighed. 

“Do you want to finish breakfast?” the keeper asked.  
Carli shook her head. “Not really,” she admitted. “You go ahead though. I’m going to brush my teeth.”

Hope nodded, and followed her girlfriend out of the bathroom. “Let’s watch Bridesmaids while I finish eating okay?” she asked.

Carli nodded, before heading upstairs, leaving Hope to grab her plate and head to the living room. The midfielder came back down a few minutes later, and flopped on the couch, burying her head in Hope’s lap. “I hate this,” she moaned. “I thought I was better.”

“It’s just taking a few days to work out of your system,” Hope soothed running a hand through Carli’s damp hair. “Trust me babe, you’re fine.”

The midfielder cuddled closer to Hope as the keeper flicked on the TV, pulling up the unwatched movie with a press of a button. “You should eat something Car,” Hope frowned. 

“Maybe later,” Carli shrugged pulling a blanket over herself. “I don’t think I could keep anything down right now. I still feel queasy.”

“But you will eat something later right?” Hope said softly. 

“Fine,” Carli groaned. “We can order Thai food for an early lunch. I really want the iced tea,”

Hope stared at her girlfriend. “Are you sure you're okay?” she questioned. “Your food choices have been...questionable lately, even for you.”

“Thai tea just sounds good,” Carli admitted, before getting a whiff of the coffee Hope was holding, and bolting to the bathroom. 

Hope hurriedly set her mug down, and moved her plate off her lap before running after Carli, finding the midfielder with her head in the toilet, and a small puddle of vomit on the floor next to her. The keeper gently pulled Carli’s hair out of her face as she gripped the toilet and retched again. 

“It’s okay babe,” Hope soothed as Carli sat back on her knees, chest heaving. “You’re okay.”

Carli shook her head before heaving into the toilet again. Hope rubbed her back as she dry heaved, her stomach having nothing left in it. “I need to change,” Carli whispered her head still bent over the toilet. “And shower. I’m disgusting.”

“You’re sick Car,” Hope reminded her girlfriend gently. “And you could never be disgusting, no matter how hard you tried.”

“Hope,” Carli said staring at the keeper incredulously. “I’m covered in vomit, _my own vomit _, and I’m kneeling next to and in a puddle of it. That’s disgusting.”__

Hope leaned forward kissing Carli’s forehead. “Let’s get you cleaned up then, and I’ll clean up this mess. Then we can go finish our movie okay?”

Carli nodded as Hope helped her up. “I think I’m okay with just doing nothing today.”

“We can do that Princess,” Hope responded guiding Carli upstairs. She led Carli into the bathroom before slowly stripping off her clothes. “I’ll start the shower, and you brush your teeth okay?”

Carli nodded before turning to the sink and grabbing her toothbrush as Hope started the shower. 

“You don’t have to do all of this for me you know,” Carli said softly. “I can do it myself.”

“Babe,” Hope said leaning forward and kissing Carli on the lips. “I want to. You aren’t feeling good. I want to take care of you, so please let me.”

“But-” Carli protested.

“I know you’re used to doing it on your own,” Hope cut in. “And that’s okay. But sometimes, I want to take care of you. Okay?”

“Okay,” Carli said softly, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Hope’s lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too babe,” Hope replied. “Now go shower, so we can finish the movie.”

“Join me?” Carli asked smiling.

Hope smirked. “You don’t even have to ask.”

\---------

Carli cuddled into Hope as they lay on the couch together finishing up Bridesmaids. “What do you want to eat?” Hope asked playing with a strand of Carli’s hair.

“I should probably stick to soup,” the midfielder murmured sleepily, snuggling further into Hope. “Does that deli you like deliver? I don’t want to move.”

Hope laughed before checking her phone. “It does. What do you want?”

“A grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup, and a small salad,” Carli requested, before burying her face into Hope’s chest and drifting off.

“Car?” Hope asked quietly after placing the online order. She chuckled softly as she realized that the midfielder had fallen asleep. Shifting a little bit, she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend before letting herself drift off.

A knock on the door woke them up an hour later, the midfielder trying to ignore the sound by burying herself further into Hope.

“That’s the food babe,” Hope said laughing as Carli let out a groan.

Disentangling herself from the midfielder, Hope went and paid the delivery man, bringing back two large bags of food. 

“How much food did you get Solo?” Carli asked rolling over.

“Plenty for us for lunch and dinner,” Hope replied, unpacking the bags. 

She handed Carli her container of soup, and just opened her bowl of seafood chowder, when Carli turned green. “Babe?” Hope questioned, looking over at Carli who had a hand pressed to her mouth.

Carli shook her head, breathing deeply before getting up and running to the bathroom. Hope set down the carton of soup before rushing to her side. Gathering her hair out of her face, the keeper rubbed circles on Carli’s back as she retched. 

Carli coughed weakly, nodding in thanks as Hope handed her a glass of water, rinsing out her mouth. “I think we should call the doctor,” Carli said. 

Hope nodded, as she helped Carli up. “I think so too babe. This doesn’t seem like food poisoning.”

The midfielder shrugged as Hope wrapped her in her arms. “Whatever it is Car, we’ll get through it together,” the keeper said softly.

“Promise?” Carli asked.

“I promise,” Hope said, kissing Carli gently. “No matter what remember?”

“No matter what,” Carli echoed softly. “I love you Hope.”

“I love you too, Car,” Hope said. “We’ll get through whatever this is together. I swear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Love it? Hate it?


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pregnancy reveal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one has been awaited, I know. This is short and painful. It was really hard for me to write, and it does get ugly. I apologize in advance. 
> 
> Also, please note the rating change too.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

“What?” Carli gasped, her hands flying up to cover her mouth. “Are you sure?”

“The blood test you took on Wednesday came back positive,” the doctor said smiling. “Congratulations Ms. Lloyd, you’re pregnant.”

“I-I can’t be pregnant,” Carli whispered, folding in on herself. “It’s not possible.”

“Do you need a minute?” the doctor asked kindly, feeling the tension mounting between the other two occupants.

Carli could only nod, not wanting to risk a glance at Hope. The keeper was silent, staring stonily ahead, her gaze burning into the wall.

“Hope-” Carli began, pleading desperately with her girlfriend.

“Not now Carli,” Hope replied tersely. “I can’t. Not right now.”

Carli sobbed, as she hugged herself. “Hope-” she began before the doctor came back in. 

“Do you need more time?” she asked softly.

“We’re fine,” Hope said shortly. She didn’t look at Carli, who was wiping away her tears.

“Alright Ms. Lloyd,” the doctor said. “Looking at the date of your last menstrual cycle, it appears that you are about nine weeks along, and are in the middle of your first trimester. Let’s have a look at your baby now shall we?”

Carli nodded, and the doctor guided her back on the bed, moving the ultrasound cart over and squirting some gel on her stomach. “See that?” the doctor asked. “That’s your baby.”

The midfielder felt the tears come faster as she stared at the image of her baby on the screen. “My baby,” she whispered. A door closing made her look up, a tear slid down her cheek once she saw Hope was gone.

“Can I get a picture?” she asked hoarsely. “If that’s it?”

“Of course,” the doctor replied kindly. “I’ll print a few, and leave them at the front desk, as well as some recommendations for over the counter prenatal vitamins. You can get them when you make your follow up appointment with your OB/GYN.”

“Thank you,” Carli said gratefully, wiping the gel off her stomach with the offered tissue, and sitting up. 

As soon as the doctor left, she grabbed her clothes and changed, heading straight to the front desk. She made her follow up appointment, tucking the list of prenatal vitamins into her purse along with the pictures of the scans before going to look for Hope. 

She found her outside sitting on a bench, her head buried in her hands. The keeper looked up as the midfielder approached, her gaze hardening. “Let’s go,” Hope said, crossing her arms.

“Hope,” Carli said laying a hand on her girlfriend’s arm. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“I would hope not,” Hope growled. “How long have you been cheating on me?”

“I am not cheating on you,” Carli said slowly. “I love you, I could never do that.”

Hope shook her head. “I’m not doing this here,” she muttered seeing other people staring at them. “Let’s go.”

The car ride back to the townhouse was silent, the tension mounting. As soon as the car was in the garage, Hope made a beeline for the house, needing space from the woman next to her.

“Babe?” Carli called. “Can we talk?”

“I think we’d better,” Hope said emerging from the kitchen. “Why did you do it Car? Wasn’t I enough?”

“You are!” Carli said, moving so she was standing in front of Hope. She wrapped her arms around the taller woman pulling her into a hug. “You’re the only one I want,” she said softly. “I was drunk and stupid. It never should’ve happened.”

“Really?” Hope snorted incredulously. “That’s the excuse you’re going with? You were drunk? Are you really that easy? You’d spread your legs for anyone? Or do they have to have a dick?”

Carli’s eyes flashed with hurt. “We were on a break when it happened,” she said softly. “You were out with Kelley and some of her friends. There was a picture of you and some girl together, and I lost it.”

The midfielder wrapped her arms around herself tightly. “I knew I wasn’t enough for you,” she whispered. “You were in another girl’s arms two days after you ended it with me. So I went to a bar, and I got drunk. I met a guy and he kept buying me drinks. The next morning I woke up in his apartment, hungover, sore, and exhausted. I don’t even know what happened. So maybe I am easy Hope, just like all the other girls you sleep with. I thought you liked your girls like that, willing to spread their legs as soon as you called. Just like I did.”

“Car,” Hope said softly, reaching out towards the midfielder who moved away. 

“Don’t,” Carli said bitterly. “Fuck, I thought this time would be different.”

“Car,” Hope said. “Look at me.”

Carli sighed and looked at the keeper. “Is this the part where you call me a slut and tell me it's over?” she asked. “Don’t let me stop you.”

“I’m sorry,” Hope said running a hand through her hair. “It’s just a lot to take in. Finding out about your pregnancy, how did you expect me to take it?”

“It’s a lot for me too Hope,” Carli snapped. “Not to mention having your girlfriend call you easy, when _she _sleeps around.”__

__“I didn’t mean that,” Hope said. “Car-”_ _

__“Yes, you did,” the midfielder said softly._ _

__“Fine,” Hope said rolling her eyes. “I did. Are you happy? I was trying to hurt you like you hurt me. We both succeeded.”_ _

__Carli shook her head backing away from the keeper. “I can't do this with you now. Not like this.”_ _

__“Fine,” Hope said walking away. “I’m going to Kelley’s for the night anyway. I’ll see you whenever.”_ _

__Carli recoiled as if she’d been struck. “I’m never going to be good enough for you am I?” she asked tearfully._ _

__Hope looked back over her shoulder at her crying girlfriend. Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself and walked out to her car. Checking to make sure her bag was already inside, she opened up the garage and drove away, not bothering to look back._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own. I'm not a doctor, and have little medical knowledge, so this will not be perfect. 
> 
> Please tell me what you think!


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carli and Hope finally talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I ended up in the hospital for about two weeks with a burst appendix, and haven't been able to write. I'm out of the hospital and am ready to continue writing again! That being said, updates on this might be coming out slower because I now have to make up all the schoolwork I missed and balance my last two weeks of classes and finals. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the update! It's kind of sad, I know, but now the plot can move along! Enjoy!

Carli looked up as the doorbell rang again. She sighed and made her way over to answer it, pulling her hair back into her usual messy bun and wiping her eyes. She tugged at the oversized University of Washington sweatshirt she was wearing, trying to make herself presentable for whoever was at the door.

“What are you doing here?” she asked flatly, freezing in the middle of the doorway, when she saw who was standing on her porch. 

Hope stood on the doorstep, letting her eyes rake over her tired girlfriend. “Kelley knocked some sense into me,” she shrugged. “She said we needed to actually talk.”

“Of course she did,” Carli snorted. “Because you couldn’t come to that conclusion by yourself.”

“Car-” Hope interrupted, only to meet the midfielder’s glare.

“Talk,” she said flatly. “Why are you here? It’s been almost two weeks, and I've heard nothing from you.”

“I know,” Hope whispered. “I’m sorry. But can we not do this out here?”

Carli sighed again, before relenting and stepping back so Hope could walk into the house. 

“Look Car,” Hope began, before Carli cut her off, turning and facing her on the sofa.

“I just need you to tell me one thing first,” she said softly.

“Carls?” Hope asked.

The midfielder looked down at her lap, twisting her hands as she spoke. “Did you sleep with her? Have you slept with her, or anyone since you left me?”

“No, Car, I wouldn’t do that to you,” Hope said softly.

“Really? You’ve never held back before, why now?” Carli asked with slight derision.

“Carli, I just needed space to sort through things. As far as I’m concerned we’re still together,” Hope said softly, placing her hands on top of Carli’s.

“It didn’t seem like it with the way you stormed out of the house after our fight,” Carli replied harshly.

“I’m sorry. I know I said some things-” Hope started.

“ _Some things? _Really Hope?” Carli asked. “ _You said some things?" _____

“I _didn’t _mean them. I just said them in the heat of the moment.”__

“No you didn’t,” Carli said softly. “And that’s the problem. That’s how you really feel about me. You think I’m easy, a slut who’ll put out for anyone, just like I put out for you.”

“Carli, no,” Hope said reaching for the midfielder. “You’re different.”

“I know, because you kept coming back for more. But this,” Carli said pointing between the two of them. “I don’t know what to do. You kept getting tired of me, then you kept coming back because you missed me. Hope, we can’t continue like this.”

“Car, I love you. You know that,” Hope said softly.

“I do, and you know how much I love you. But I can’t keep going in circles like this. She loves you, she’d make you happy.”

“Carli-” Hope said.

“I can’t Hope. I have a baby to raise. Kelley- Kelley makes you happy. I saw it when you two were together, you looked at her differently. You’ve never looked at me like that.”

“Is this it then?” Hope whispered.

“I can’t keep getting pulled in circles Hope. Not anymore. I’m responsible for another life now, not just my own,” Carli said softly.

“I love you Carli Anne Lloyd,” Hope said softly. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

Carli shrugged, wiping away a lone tear. “Maybe someday we’ll have another shot,” she murmured.

Hope chuckled softly. “I hope so, when things are less crazy, and I actually know what I’m doing.”

Carli choked back a sob, wrapping her arms around herself. “I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s the hormones.”

Hope reached forward pulling the midfielder into a hug. “It’s okay babe,” she whispered. “Until I walk out that door I’m yours.”

Carli buried herself in the keeper’s embrace, sagging into the familiar warmth. She felt tears falling on the top of her head, and knew that Hope was crying too. 

Finally, they pulled apart and Hope stood. “I guess I should be going,” the keeper said awkwardly, moving towards the door.

Carli nodded, hastily wiping her eyes. She stood and followed the keeper. Moving so she was right in front of Hope, she reached up and pressed her lips against the tall brunette’s. “One last kiss,” she whispered. “Please?”

Hope wrapped her arms around Carli’s waist pulling her closer, as she kissed the shorter woman again. She pressed her tongue against the midfielder’s lips, begging for entrance, which was granted. Their mouths moved in sync, their tongues dancing together before Carli pulled away reluctantly. She pressed a soft kiss to Hope’s lips, closing her eyes to prevent the tears from falling. 

“I know I shouldn’t,” she whispered. “But can I have one more night with you?”

Hope leaned down and kissed her again gently. “Are you sure?” she asked softly wiping away the tears trailing down Carli’s cheek.

Carli nodded. “Just one more night,” she whispered. “Please.”

Hope gazed down at Carli tenderly. She leaned in and pressed her lips to the shorter woman’s forehead. The keeper intertwined their fingers together and began to lead the midfielder up to their room. 

At the base of the stairs Hope stopped. “Are you sure you want this Carls?” she asked softly.

The smaller woman nodded, leaning in to kiss Hope again. “Please,” she whispered against the taller woman’s lips. “Just one more night.”

Hope nodded before picking up Carli swiftly. The midfielder let out a shriek and wrapped her legs around Hope. “What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m carrying you across the threshold,” Hope said. “You asked for one more night, and I’m giving it to you. I plan on treating you the way I should’ve treated you the entire time, Princess.”

“Okay,” Carli mumbled, burying her head into Hope’s neck.

Hope quickly ascended the stairs, entering their bedroom and gently laying the midfielder down on the bed. She stared at the smaller brunette laying back on her elbows, before moving so she was covering her with her body. 

“One more night,” Hope whispered. 

“One more night,” Carli confirmed softly. “Kiss me Hope.”

“Anything for you my Princess,” Hope replied, pressing her lips to Carli’s hungrily. “Anything for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically unedited for spelling and grammar. I may go back in a day or so to edit this, we'll see.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Love it? Hate it? Let me know!


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after and it's eventual aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I've updated this! Here's a new one for you guys. It's probably not my best, but I hope you enjoy it!

Hope smiled as she looked at Carli cuddled next to her. “Hey Princess,” she said softly.

“What time is it?” the younger woman asked blearily.

“It’s about eight,” Hope replied. “I should head out.”

Carli was quiet for a moment. “Stay, please?” she whispered. “I just want to savor the moment a little bit more with you.”

The keeper nodded pressing a kiss to the midfielder’s lips. “Anything you want Carli,” she said softly.

“Hold me,” the younger woman requested. “Please.”

Hope wrapped her arms around the midfielder, pulling her close to her body. She inhaled the sweet smell of her hair, and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “I wish it wasn’t ending like this,” the keeper admitted.

Carli said nothing, burying her face in the keeper’s neck, knowing if she tried to talk she wouldn’t be able to let Hope go.

The two just lay together silently as they both tried to keep the tears at bay. “I should go,” Hope finally said.

Carli nodded. “I don’t want you to,” she said softly. “But you need to. This isn’t good for either for either of us.”

“I know,” Hope said softly. “I know.”

The keeper slipped out of the bed, and pulled on her clothes, before coming back to kiss Carli gently. “Goodbye Carli,” Hope said softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too Hope,” Carli whispered tearfully. She watched as Hope made her way down the stairs, wiping a stray tear away, before falling back against her pillows. 

“Hope!” the midfielder called sitting up and praying the keeper would walk back up the stairs. “Hope!”

Hearing no answer she sighed laying back down and turning over, she pressed her face against the pillow Hope had slept with, inhaling her scent. “She’s really gone,” she said softly. “I should’ve told her to stay.”

\--------

_Two Months Later ___

Carli rolled over fingers grasping at the sheets on the other side of the bed, frowning as she hit empty space. She sighed as turned over, wrapping herself around her pregnancy pillow. ‘Why couldn’t you have stayed Hope?’ she thought miserably. ‘Why wasn’t I enough?’ 

Slowly the midfielder slipped out of bed and made her way down the stairs tugging irritably at her clothes. 

__Making herself a cup of tea, she curled up on the couch, grabbing her phone from the counter where she had left it. Unlocking it, she was surprised to see a message from Hope._ _

__**Hope: Hey, I just wanted to check in on you and make sure you’re doing okay. ******_ _

__******Carli: I’m doing okay. Just the usual pregnancy stuff. ******** ** _ _

__**********Hope: Mood swings and emotions? ******** ** ** ** _ _

__**************Carli: Unfortunately. ******** ** ** ** ** ** _ _

__******************Hope: Can I come over? ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _

Carli stared at her phone in wonder. ‘She- Did she just ask that?’ she thought in disbelief. 

__**********************Hope: You talk a good game, but you’re still my best friend. I know how well you bullshit when you don’t want people to know you’re struggling. ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _

__**************************Carli: Are you sure? Kelley won’t mind? ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _

__******************************Hope: I’m positive. Kelley won’t mind. ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _

__**********************************Carli: Give me an hour to shower and get ready? ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _

__**************************************Hope: I’ll see you then. ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** _ _

Carli looked down at her phone. “Did that really just happen?” she wondered out loud. She set her phone down on the coffee table, before taking another sip of tea. “Hope’s coming to see me,” she mused, staring off into space. She set her mug down, and pulled a blanket over herself, curling up under it as she pondered all the things she wanted to say to the keeper. 

“What am I supposed to say to her?” she wondered. “Am I supposed to lie to her when she asks me how I am?” 

“You could try the truth,” a voice said gently. 

Carli gasped startled. “Hope,” she exclaimed. “What are you doing here?” 

“It’s been an hour Car, over an hour actually,” the keeper said, shutting the front door behind her, and moving into the living room. “I let myself in when you didn’t answer my calls, or hear me knocking.” 

“Oh,” Carli said faintly. “I was just thinking.” 

“I gathered that,” the keeper said, moving so she was leaning against the doorway. “So have you decided if you want to lie to me or tell me the truth yet?” 

“It depends,” Carli responded, playing with her hands nervously. 

“On what?” Hope challenged. 

“On if you’ll listen to me,” the midfielder replied. “And answer me honestly.” 

“Okay,” Hope said finally. “If those are your terms, but I have a few of my own.” 

“Really Hope?” Carli sighed. 

“Really Carli,” Hope returned. “You have to be honest with me, completely honest. Okay? If you are struggling, then you tell me okay? No bullshit, not with me.” 

The midfielder nodded, her hands searching for something to do as she stared at the keeper waiting for her to speak. “Stop that,” Hope said gently, moving to sit next to Carli, and trapping her hands between her own. “Why are you so nervous?” 

“I don’t know,” Carli mumbled. 

“Don’t do that,” Hope chastised lightly. “Don’t lie to me.” 

“You left,” Carli blurted out. “How am I supposed to know what to say to you after that?” 

“I only left because you asked me to,” Hope said softly. “I thought that was what you wanted.” 

“It is, it was,” the midfielder said lowly. “But I don’t know anymore. You waltzed back in here, and- and- I don’t know. It wasn’t supposed to be this complicated.” She buried her head in her hands, turning away from the keeper. “I don’t know what to do when it comes to you Hope,” she admitted. “I want you to stay, but you can’t, but I can’t bear to see you walk out of my life again.” 

“Why can’t I stay?” Hope asked gently. 

“Because you have a life I’m not a part of,” Carli said, exhaling loudly before standing. “I’m going to get some water, do you want some?” 

“Carli?” Hope asked curiously, standing and walking with the midfielder into the kitchen. 

“It’s fine,” the midfielder said waving Hope off, as she braced herself against the sink looking out her kitchen window. “It’s the pregnancy hormones. I just need a minute. I’m fine.” 

“Are you sure?” Hope asked moving to grab them both a glass of water. “Have you eaten anything? Let me make something.” 

“I’m fine Hope,” Carli repeated, staring out the window and trying to center herself. She urged herself not to focus on her ex-lover staring at her so lovingly and concernedly, almost exactly like she used to when they were together. 

“I told you not to lie to me,” Hope said flatly, crossing her arms. “It’s obvious you aren’t sleeping, or eating properly.” 

“Fine,” the younger woman groaned. “You can make something. But that’s the end of that line of questioning okay? You aren’t my mother. I can take care of myself.” 

Hope bit back a retort, before ushering Carli into a chair. “This isn’t how I wanted to start the morning with you,” she admitted softly as she grabbed the ingredients for french toast. 

“Me either,” Carli admitted softly, wrapping her hands around the glass of water. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” 

“Spoken your mind?” Hope said shrugging. “You always do Car, I don’t mind. It’s one of the things I love about you.” 

“But still-” Carli protested weakly. 

“Car, I said it’s fine, I asked you not to lie to me remember?” Hope said shooting the midfielder a soft smile. “But I want to know, what you were saying earlier- why can’t I stay?” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Carli said. 

“I guess not,” Hope said walking over with a large stack of french toast and plates. “So I guess I kind of need you to explain it to me.” 

“Kelley,” the midfielder said, stabbing a bite of french toast moodily. 

“What about Kelley?” Hope asked taking a bite of her french toast. 

“Seriously Hope?” Carli asked frustratedly. “Aren’t you dating her?” 

“Yes,” the keeper admitted after a second. “And no. We haven’t officially decided to be exclusive.” 

“But won’t this jeopardize your relationship with her?” Carli asked softly. 

“I don’t know,” Hope admitted. “But you need someone, even if that someone is your ex.” 

Carli stilled for a second as a pang of hurt struck her. She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. “You shouldn’t put your relationship in jeopardy for your ex,” she rasped. She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Especially me, your pregnant ex.” 

“That’s not what I meant Car,” Hope said softly. 

“How else could you have meant it Hope?” the midfielder replied shakily. “I’m your ex, and you want to be here for me because I need support. It doesn’t get much clearer than that.” 

“I still care about you Car,” Hope said gently. “Even though we aren’t together. You shouldn’t be going through this by yourself.” 

“Who else is going to go through it with me?” Carli asked roughly. She blinked trying to hold back the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. “Not the father, that’s for sure.” 

“Car-” Hope started. 

“Dammit Hope,” the younger woman cursed. “I just told you how I feel. You have Kelley now, you need to go be with her. You can’t come back here and try to insert yourself in my life.” 

“Why can’t I?” Hope challenged. 

“It’s not fair to her!” Carli screamed. She stood up from the table abruptly and walked into the living room, unable to face the keeper any longer. 

The keeper followed her to the living room, pulling the fuming woman into her arms as she collapsed on the couch, crying silently. “It’s not fair to me either,” Carli whispered. 

“You told me to go after Kelley,” Hope said after a few minutes, holding onto the midfielder tighter as she tried to pull away. “But did you ever realize that I might not be over you?” 

“Hope,” Carli said flatly. 

“Carli,” Hope returned. “Listen to me. Seriously listen, okay?” 

“You really want me to believe that you are here because you can’t commit to Kelley fully? Because of me?” 

“Yes,” Hope said simply. 

“You never had that problem before,” Carli said skeptically. 

Hope sighed as she looked the midfielder in the eyes. “Until I met Kelley, I never imagined a future without you in it ever since we started dating,” she began. “Then London happened, and everything else with it, but I’d always go back to you some way or another.” 

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?” Carli interrupted. 

“I don’t know how to say this any better Car,” Hope said softly. “But she’s not you. And that’s my point, she can never be you.” 

“So that’s it then?” the midfielder said glaring at the keeper. “She’s not me. Real insightful Solo. So go be with your girlfriend then!” 

“Fuck,” Hope muttered, as Carli wrenched away from her. “That’s not what I meant!” 

“Really? Figure it out then!” the midfielder exclaimed storming up the stairs. “I’ll be upstairs when you figure your shit out.” 

“Fuck,” Hope muttered running a hand through her hair. “Dammit Car, why can’t you understand? I don’t know how to live without you, but I can’t stay in your life if you don’t want me here.” The keeper cursed again, before sighing and sinking down onto the sofa resting her head in her hands. 

“You aren’t the only being torn in half,” she murmured, glancing up at the stairs from her position on the couch, hearing the shower turn on. 

“Fuck,” she cursed again. “It wasn’t supposed to be this hard.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically completely unedited. Mistakes are my own.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


End file.
